Ted And His Love For Robin (Through The Years) (How I Met Your Mother / HIMYM) – YouTube Dictation Transcript & Vocabulary

1.because Marshall's found the love of his life even if I was ready which I'm not but if I was it's like okay I'm ready where is she [Music] and there she was [Music] it was like something from an old movie where the Sailor sees the girl across the crowded Dance Floor turns to his buddy and says see that girl I'm gonna marry her someday hey Barney see that girl oh yeah you just know she likes it dirty Mom Dad I have found the future Mrs Ted Mosby Marshall how do I always describe my perfect woman uh let's see she likes dogs I've got five dogs she drinks scotch I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own Scotch can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters right when someone asks you if you're a God you say yes and I'm saving the best for last do you want these I hate olives she hates olives [Music] olives oh I think I like your Olive Theory I think I like your new French horn I think I like you know I'm in love with you what what what so Orlando you can hit Disney World you love me I can't believe I said that why did I say that who says that I should just go hold on wait a minute ah I promise you these olives yeah thanks I love you what is wrong with me well I should get back to the station see you guys nice thing you can yeah you too I'm in love with her no as your sponsor I will not let you relapse you blew it it's over move on I don't know I just have this feeling she's the future Mrs Ted Mosby Lily you squeaked she said something about me didn't she come on spill it red fine so what do we think of 10

2.that's something else huh I'm gonna spin that as good lots of guys are something I'm something else it comes on a little strong but that that part of my charm but but harming he's just looking for something a little bit more serious than I am I mean the most I can handle right now is something casual this just stays between us right are you kidding this flapper Fort Knox oops well it's casual okay I'll be casual I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual you know why because it's a game I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole happily ever after thing but you don't get there unless you play the game so you're gonna ask her out yeah no I can't ask around because if I ask around I'm asking her out so how do I ask her out without asking her out did you guys get high I got it I don't ask her out I invite her to our party next Friday we're having a party next Friday we are now casual yeah because nothing says casual like inviting a hundred people over just a Mac on one girl oh and Lily that's my leg we waited five minutes to tell me that casual somewhere if only I knew her schedule I could arrange a chance encounter Ted you'll be the most kicker ever [Music] well they know each other and you're looking at me with that look and it's like like Let's Fall In Love and get married and have kids and drive them to soccer practice I'm not gonna Force Sports on them unless they're interested it's a great look you're looking at the wrong girl no I'm not yes you are I don't want to get married right now maybe ever and if we got together I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you or break your heart and I just couldn't do either of those things just like you can't turn off the way you feel click off let's make out what what that was the off switch and I turned it off huh I mean sure yes I want to fall in love get married blah blah blah but on the other hand you me roof there's no off switch there is an off switch and it's on no it's not it's not yes it is no it is yes it is no it's not you're right there's no off switch God I wish there was an off switch me too [Music] I'll be fine we'll be out of here in a gif Ted I'm gonna head out my roommates are having a party not far from here no look I know this night isn't turning out the way I plan but how long have you been in love with Robin hello we're just friends where are you getting that from okay I'm fine happy New Year Ted cheers and just like that we were having the perfect New Year's Eve funny thing is all night long I've been trying to chase something down I was right there in that limo thank you oh come on in Robin I cut my meeting short because I wanted to see you at midnight I can't believe you made it I made it baby I super love you okay here you need a mint hey seven six five four three two one you probably want to feel bad for your old man at this point in the story well don't not every night has a happy ending but all of it's important all of it was leading somewhere because suddenly it was 2006

3.in 2006 was a big one oh man I thought we had a deal what about your guy it's midnight go kiss him yeah he kept me waiting I'm waiting [Music] it's a deal [Music] Happy New Year Happy New Year [Music] well Derek and I just broke up oh no that's terrible are you okay yeah do you need a drink or something yeah I never really clicked I felt bad though he was pretty bummed that'll beat yourself up it'll be fine I mean the guy's like a billionaire he can put his platinum card in a fishing line real intentions hotter than you thanks I feel a lot better think I'll get that drink now okay guys I gotta say something I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing shallow grave not again come on dude we all know how this movie ends Ted falls in love love kicks Ted in the Sprouts roll credits no you guys just have to look at the whole picture ah Robin was into me when we first met fact even though she didn't want a relationship we had an amazing kiss on the roof on New Year's Eve we kissed again fact I need a date to this wedding hello Ted I just saw the news and a Truck carrying sulfuric acid overturned right in front of Robin's house and it's melting through the sidewalk you can see straight down into hell it's bad you should go home dude Marshall it's fine nothing's gonna happen Ted what does your mom always say nothing good ever nothing good ever happens after 2 A.M go home it's too late for juice dude Robin and I are just friends she doesn't even like me that way yes she does she likes you she told me what it's a big secret so don't tell her I told you but it's very vulnerable right now and you have a girlfriend go home Ted she likes me yes so you see why it would be a very bad idea for you to go up there go home Ted she likes me go home Ted [Music] you're right I'll uh I'll see you at home Ted I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis but what the bleep are you doing dude expect from me it's it's been Victoria's great but it's Robin I I made up my mind I'm gonna end it with Victoria gonna yes first thing tomorrow okay but but as of right now at 2 45 a.m you still have a girlfriend Chad I love you I love Robin but if you do this right now your entire future with her will be built on a crime I just go home ahead don't do this the wrong way I hate how you're always right it's my best and most annoying trait I'm coming home I'll see you soon hey hey probably get going it's pretty late I'm sorry oh no I I understand it's fine yeah yeah can I uh call you tomorrow totally totally call me tomorrow okay good night Robin good night Dad foreign [Music] I owe you a real breakup call I'll call you tomorrow good so you're gonna go home why should I have to go home you know there's every chance Robin's the woman I'm gonna marry if I jumped jump the moral gray area but Robin and I'm exhausted I am I'm exhausted from pretending I'm not in love with her I think that makes this okay oh please you just want to get laid yes I do you got me that is exactly what I want right now and so what I want this she wants this it's happening and if you have a problem with it don't be in Germany it's been nice pretending to talk to you thanks for not calling me and good night that's not your phone this isn't my phone I called Victoria from the cab and we broke up and there you have it kids the stupidest thing I've ever done in one night I managed to hurt two people I cared about me and none of it would have happened if I had just listened to my mom [Music] leaves me empty so I guess if there's a lesson to be learned here it's this when it's after 2 A.M just go to sleep [Music] tomorrow morning Barney's gonna send out the package and Butterfield's gonna be knee-deep and angry white mice oh dude hey guys hi hey so Lil did you uh get the milk yeah yeah I I got it you think you might want to drink the milk no no nope I'm good I don't need any milk look guys I know milk is important Man vitamin D it's a great way to start the morning but Ted just had a huge date how'd it go dude it didn't go what why I changed my mind I don't want to meet her why is she she sounds perfect I don't want perfect I want Robin oh God not this again Ted it's a mistake Maybe but it's a mistake I have to make wrong it's a mistake you don't have to make look at the evidence you and Robin have tried this again and again here's the thing about mistakes sometimes even when you know something's a mistake you gotta make it anyway so what do you think Robin again Ted the universe clearly does not want you and Robin to be together don't piss off the universe the universe will slap you don't you think the universe has more important things to worry about than my dating life unless your dating life is the glue holding the entire universe together whoa chills anybody else get chills look I realize we've been down this road before but the fact is whatever I do it all keeps coming back to Robin so I gotta do this that wasn't me that was the universe the funny thing was at that very moment the universe was working on something a storm just knock okay hi hi [Music] Robin I've sort of said this already I mean I've half said it I I've tried to say it and I've said it badly so this is me just saying it with strings I'm crazy about you I think we should be together what do you say [Music] what do you say yes no I don't know those are the three options I know I mean I come home I gonna what there's a string quartet and I have to pee oh I'm sorry [Music] um well go ahead we'll uh we'll wait Ted she is going on that camping trip dude barring some Act of God Robin's gonna be with Sandy this weekend fine if an act of God is what it takes then an act of God it is what are you talking about I'm Gonna Make It Rain [Music] hey Ted what you doing a rain dance dude that's not a rain dance that's a fat kid with a B in his pants I highly doubt the great spear who's a stickler for choreography it's the thought that counts she's leaving in half an hour these are your awesome years you're wasting them on this girl this isn't gonna work yeah I know what then why are you doing this because I love her I love her I told her that the first night we went out and here it is eight months later and nothing's changed so yes I know this isn't gonna work but it has to work you hear me you're the best this is Ted miles be talking give me some rain come on come on come on oh come on [Music] foreign so Argentina Argentina why is this the first I've heard of Argentina American School suck at geography what would be the point in telling you that I want to live in Argentina you don't want to live there I could want to live in Argentina no you couldn't I mean your life is here and your career I'm a journalist my career could take me anywhere and I hope it does hey I could be an architect anywhere too they have buildings in Argentina and Paris and even Tokyo I don't know if you ever saw Godzilla but he wasn't knocking down a bunch of tents so what saying you want to move to Argentina well I always regretted not taking a year in college to live abroad I just finished a big project at work I I got some money saved up if ever there were a time in my life to do something like this it's right now let's move to Argentina oh shut up you're scared I might not be kidding aren't you nope your move shabotsky [Music] okay let's do it let's move to Argentina Marty okay time to get the horn back to The Bistro oh oh Ted I don't know if I can go again that tuckered me out not a euphemism oh all right okay let me just go change and we'll leave whoa whoa you get to change and I don't uh-uh solidarity sister that is crazy I have a change of clothes and you don't suck it up well if we'd actually moved in together all my stuff would be here but we didn't so foreign yeah we were all talk weren't we we're not doing this are we I don't want to have kids in Argentina and I don't want to have kids in Argentina so where does that leave us well we could stay together and pretend this stuff doesn't matter or we could give back the blue French horn and you stole a blue french horn for me I would have stolen you a whole Orchestra throw away the paper throw away the mail kids there was one part I left out goodbye ten okay yes what's the answer [Music] there is a reason that it didn't work out between you and me but it's not Germany and I'm willing to bet it's the same reason none of your other relationships in the last six years have lasted either it's Robin no yes she is so much bigger in your world than you realize and the thing that you're all doing you and Barney and Robin where the three of you hang out at the bar night in night out like you're all just Buddies that doesn't work trust me you've got it all wrong I'm right about this goodbye Ted and sure enough she was right it didn't work we just didn't realize it yet kids sometimes you realize the journey you've been taking has reached its final stop so the question becomes where do you go next hey you okay from now we'll all be gone a lot of friends will move away and they're going to bed of places but our friends will be gone away so he unproposed Rover and I think I know it's for the best it's just I was finally ready for something serious he seemed like the guy to take that next step with but I couldn't look past this I mean who could I could I love you Robin [Music] I love you Robin I'm serious do you remember why we broke up in the first place we asked each other where do you want to be in five years and our answers were just too different well five years later and where are we standing on the roof where I kissed you for the first time I know this is a lot to process so no pressure here just what do you think you know what you're exhausted it's late let's just go to sleep well good night it's crazy right are you shocked no I'm not shocked you're in love with Robin do you remember back at Christmas when she was upset you didn't even know why and you spent eight hours setting up Christmas lights in the apartment just to cheer her up that was a platonic friend thing a platonic friend thing really all right Ted let me ask you a question would you have done that for me you probably would have you're such a good friend Ted you too buddy a week later Robin's plane landed and I was there to meet her at the airport [Music] you told me all about her trip and then we got dinner at a restaurant we hadn't been to in a long time and by the end of the night one thing had become clear it's not gonna happen is it sorry it's because of Barney what no Barney and I no no it's just things have just been so crazy lately everything in my life is unstable I mean you're one of the few things that I can count on I really don't want to mess that up we we still have our deal right if we're both still single when we're 40

4.yeah yeah no look I'm sorry I I can't do that anymore as long as the door is even a little bit open I have this feeling that I'll just be waiting around to see if I win the lottery when you turn 40

5.I think you know how you feel about me now and I don't think time's gonna change that just tell me do you love me no I'm sorry we're great as friends it's just let's just forget I ever said anything I will ever go out with a guy with a mustache this is good this is nice not thinking about you know who just having a good time and thanking God I didn't grow that mustache and you you're so polite my ex-fiance Wayne he had no manners Wayne had no manners Wayne manners Wayne Manor oh my Bruce Wayne better known as Batman mentor to Dick Grayson his orphan Ward who at night would Don the colorful vestments of the Boy Wonder AKA Robin holy Long Walk for a short drink of water Ted stop this I need you out of my life for real you don't mean that yes I do no you don't look how much is changing right now Marshall and Lily are having a baby Barney shacking up with a girl with your whole world turning upside down isn't a friendship like this one something you want to hold on to as tightly as possible every time I look at you it hurts why are you still here why do you think I'm still here I guess because I'm in love with you why else would I be seeing your face everywhere I look because you feel bad of course I feel bad I told you I love you which is apparently the worst thing you can say to someone that's not why you feel bad you feel bad because after you said it you let me go away I know our relationship isn't exactly what you want it to be and I know I may not love you the way you love me but I do love you isn't that worth hanging on to I miss you so go get me back [Music] Ted it's good to really see you it's really good to see you look I think we need to talk oh me too but uh now's not a good time why not what Victoria [Music] will you marry me yes of course just one thing anything you name it you can't be friends with Robin [Music] you won't marry me if I'm still friends with Robin wait she's the thing that's been holding us back there's just too much history there I mean Robin's the reason that we broke up the first time around Robin's our roadblock Robbins the deep dark pit where our relationship goes to die the nicest girl in the world it's all to the Earth but she's with Nick now I mean sure his cooking show is lousy with awkward catchphrase attempts but Robin's happy with Nick and I'm happy with you look I I just asked you to be my wife isn't that proof there's nothing between me and Robin well maybe today there isn't but what about tomorrow or next week or 15 years from now I'll always be wondering I never wanted to be that girl who says it's Robin or it's me but well that's Robin or it's you [Music] I wanna sit you down and talk are you okay what is this big urgent thing that can wait till tomorrow there's something I have to tell you um I've thought about this a ton and um I was hoping it wouldn't come to this but I'm not in love with Robin but she's like family to me and uh can't end that so can you accept that [Music] I really hope you get her someday [Music] oh I'm so sorry buddy but bright side Robin is going to be so touched when she hears you ended things with Victoria because of her she can never know it's me Robin will never find out I don't understand I promise promise of course Robin did find out but we'll get to that we're not platonics platonish maybe that's even a word but not platonic and there's something between us and there always will be thank you this was eight years ago I'd be jumping into a cab right now to go steal that blue french horn well why don't you I don't know doesn't seem to work that way anymore it used to be in such a hurry all the time you know everything was so urgent now I just I don't know I figure it's gonna happen it'll happen when it happens I'm not going anywhere she's not going anywhere what's the rush right [Music] oh my God something horrible happened hello plus Ted relax bar now what is it he needs me but what about our magical romantic knife in four minutes we're supposed to be doing hand stuff in the cab I'll be quick I'm sure it's nothing huge that's huge and I knew that I had to tell Robin but I may have um asked her to be my date instead what is wrong with me all right deep down is there still some crazy part of me that thinks I'm gonna wind up with Robin am I that deluded if so I I need to grow up oh um by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a wiffle ball bat sure pretty standard Robin deserves the chance to go after Barney one last time if that's what she wants I'm gonna go tell her one quick thing yep don't um I'm gonna be a little wild baby it's a long story but Ted needs my help okay but hurry or I'm gonna start doing number 11 on my own you can do that by yourself Pilates okay why shouldn't I tell Robin Because deep down some crazy party who still thinks you're gonna wind up with her and I agree Marshall I'm sorry I'm team tedward always have been always will be now listen I want my best friend to be happy and if Robin could mean happiness for you then dear God why help her go after another man because she might still be in love with him to not tell her to not give her that chance it's it's selfish so be selfish I can't do that tell that to the onion rings we just split Robin is my friend she's always been more than that and you know it now as we speak my wife is in a hotel room cheating on me with herself but I'm not leaving here until you promise not to say a word about this to Robin now repeat after me I well I can do more at a time than I I Ted Mosby promise to stop putting everyone else's interest ahead of my own and for once in my life do what's best for me I sorry what was the rest of that let's cut the crap we're both freezing just say it and we can go downstairs say what say how much you hate that Robin and Barney are getting married what no I I'm happy for them I I encouraged Robin to go after Barney I know because you thought you were okay letting her go but now that she's really gone it hurts kids at that point in my life I'd been hurt quite a few times already today bracelets there is a very simple explicit this one time I was playing tennis and [Music] schmoozby remember when you duke it in your pants don't buy the link unbelievable [Music] do you love me [Music] no but when I saw that text message and found out Robin was engaged it was like times a million [Music] I am happy for them is all you'll let yourself say out loud because if you said anything to the country well that would make you the most awful person on this rooftop so I'm gonna give you an out and how are you gonna do that by saying something what sometimes mom sometimes I want to pack a bag and leave in the middle of the night and not come back Robin shouldn't be with Barney she should be with me you serious I don't know I mean I love being a mom I love Marvin so much but but do you remember when I wanted to be an artist or it was my whole life and and now it's been months since I've even picked up a brush I I spend the whole day taking care of kids at my job and I come home and it's more of the same it's it never lets up it's really really hard Ted yeah have you talked to Marshall about how you feel if you talk to Robin about how you feel enough I think we have to accept our lots of life and I have to be a mom to a a beautiful wonderful if slightly constipated little boy and you have to let Robin and Barney get a band when are you leaving day after the wedding what can't miss the day after the wedding that's when we sit around all hungover drinking mimosas and talking smack about who look fat that's my Christmas why are you in such a rush to get out of there oh of course you're not leaving because you think the love of your life isn't in New York you're leaving because you think she is and this time next week she'll be married to your best friend [Music] they're happy and I'm happy for them I want them to have an amazing life together I just I just think it'd be best for everyone if I wasn't around for it Robin no she called me up the other day she was trying to dig up this locket she had buried behind the Central Park Carousel and I blew off that big interview to go help her and then it started raining [Music] I'll see you at the wedding yeah even now after all these years there's still just this part of me where if there's even the slightest chance something I do could make Robin smile I don't even think about it I just do it if I can make that lock it magically appear I would I would open a vein in my arm if I could bleed that lock it out just to make her happy that's just a really sucky way to feel about your best friend's fiance so I'm going to come to the wedding and uh you know have a good time but after that I [Music] what I know where the lock it is what I know where the locket is wait you put the locket in the race car pencil box yep and then Robin took it to Japan no she didn't it's sitting on my desk at home right now it's been with me all along Ted the Locking is in the pencil box this is awesome no I just I just mean this is going to be the best wedding gift ever it's gonna blow her mind Ted be careful [Music] look Ted I'm sorry that I've been taking it out on you you're just being a good friend to Robin it's okay it will be different if you still had feelings for her but you don't right right okay now it's weird you still have feelings for Robin what what okay yeah sometimes I do but it doesn't work that way I'm a human being I I don't have an off switch I'm shutting off good morning I hate these feelings I hate myself for having these feelings no one wishes they would go away more than I do but I just I I can't seem to make that happen I've tried well then try harder I'm marrying her in less than two days what the hell are we gonna do about this responding the truth is it was weird at the carousel on some level it's probably been weird between me and Robin ever since we broke up but you're my brother I would never do anything to hurt you ever I mean it I swear I'll even swear it on the bro code a bro code's stupid how dare you I'd be honored I can't promise that I'll ever get to a place where it won't be at least a little weird between me and Robin but I don't want to lose you as a friend either of you so I will do everything I can to move on and live with it the question is can you [Music] heading over to the east side to stuff a dead squirrel into a different ex-boyfriend's mailbox so you know this made sense of course so did I have the locket no what Jeanette Ted listen to me you're being crazy I'm being crazy yes how long have you been hung up on Robin eight years and you're still killing yourself to fetch dumb little trinkets for her that's crazy that's more than crazy I don't think there's a word for what that is actually there is a word for that it's love I'm in love with her okay if you're looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you it's love and when you love someone you just you you don't stop ever even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy even then especially then you just you don't give up because if I could give up if I could just you know take the whole world's advice and and move on and find someone else that wouldn't be love that would be that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for but that that is not what this is so please can I have to lock it I think we should get back together I would have understood you know I mean if you told me that we couldn't be friends anymore I I wouldn't have liked it but I God I would have understood I could never do that why not Ted okay I insist that you tell me why not no way answer the question it's it's for the bride I'm not going to answer the question because you know the answer you want to talk about my top five there's no top five Robin there's just a top one and it's you and the only reason I'm saying any of this is because I know that it's not going to change anything you and Barney are getting married today if I have to hold the shotgun myself it's happening I don't like guns I'm the best man I swore on the bro code I don't want to go to Bro hell bro hell sounds bad I'm sure Barney's got a whole thing about bro hell what about when we get back from our honeymoon what about our first night out at the bar what then I mean it's gonna be weird no can you be so sure because I'm not going to be there I'm moving to Chicago [Music] and that kids is How I Met Your Mother that's it that's it no I don't buy it that is not the reason you made us listen to this oh really and what's the reason let's look at the facts here you made a sit down and listen to the story about how you met mom yet mom is hardly in the story this is a story about how you're totally in love with Aunt Robin and you're thinking about asking her out and you want to know if we're okay with it I can't believe this I kept this story short and to the point and you guys still missed it the point of the story is that is that you totally totally totally have the hots for Aunt Robin no I don't yes you do you're grounded wow you're a really intan Rob you're grounded too okay suppose I were interested in that Robin in that way it's not like I do anything about it I got you guys to think about Dad we love Aunt Robin whenever she comes over for dinner you guys are so obvious come on dad mom's been gone for six years now now it's time what I just just call her up on the phone and ask her out on a date yes nope that's something you guys would want yeah yeah all right I'll give her a call I am caller I'm calling her great there we go or all right okay [Music] [Music] television display front door security television [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] remember [Applause] [Music]