Do Not Run Away from Your Dark Side – YouTube Dictation Transcript & Vocabulary

1.you can't run away from them you can't run away from your Shadow your dark side you can make it work for you you can make it positive and productive and healthy you can become a healthy narcissist you can use your dark side for positive [Music] purposes we all have this idea like in the laws of human nature I write about irrationality Envy aggression weo or narcissism narcissism is a good one oh they're a narcissist I'm not a narcissist I'm not self-absorbed but they are yeah yeah I don't have any of those traits well Dam it every single human being has self-absorption traits we can't help it we naturally think of ourselves first yes there are people who are much deeper narcissists in life no doubt and there are toxic narcissists but we all have a touch of it I want you to be a little more humble in this world and not be so arrogant and not think that you are somehow EX exempt from having a dark side that somehow you were born with a halo over your head that you were born different you don't have human nature that you're a saintly person you're much better get rid of your moral superiority because I find that deeply offensive we are all Cut From the Same Cloth we all have the same flaws and when you look at yourself and when I wrote the laws of human nature I'm going damn it Robert you you have a dark side you're a narcissist you know I had to come come to terms with my irrationality my grandiosity my aggressive instincts but it's the only way to change yourself is to be aware that you have these issues I have the narcissistic tendency now I see it all right now when they pop up pop up I can control it better I can say damn Robert you're being too self-absorbed to think more about the other person but if you go around in life thinking I don't have any of these problems I'm not a narcissist you're never going to have the awareness to stop the fact that you are actually one being a narcissist is that objectively a good or a bad thing because when you when you was obviously I know people that it's a bad thing is narcissist caus a lot of harm and that's very true but in the context of the human animal and why the human animal develops certain attributes and qualities to to you know maybe further its survival or its ability to stay within the social pack is it just a consequence of being a human to have these like Shadow traits and to be coercive and manipulative is it good or is it bad or is it neither it's neither neither um because it just is right um so with narcissism for instance um there's a reason why we're narcissists so I explain in the book it's not my own Theory it comes from some great psychologists like kohoot the origins of narcissism right so when you're have to leave you when your parents have to kind of not abandon you but have to not give you as much attention as you used to have and you're three years old or four years old you don't remember it but it was very painful like oh they don't love me as much what's wrong with me right you know I have to get that love and attention not just naturally I have to do things to earn it etc etc and what happens with a lot of people in that situation when you're a child is I have to develop my own I have to be my own mother or father I have to find a way of loving myself when something bad happens I have to retreat Inward and go I'm really not so bad at all I'm actually a decent person I like my own tastes I like the clothes that I wear etc etc you're developing the shreds of self-esteem right and people who never developed that because they were abused or they were abandoned or even if they were suffocated never develop that self-esteem and so what happens in life is whenever if you don't develop that and you get older and people attack you and yell at you or criticize you you can't Retreat inward to that self-esteem that love you have the only thing you know is to get angry to get they call it narcissistic rage and to yell at people and say God get away from me you're evil etc etc etc right and then the other problems evolve where the only way I don't have that inner self-esteem the only way I get people to love me is by being incredibly dramatic and overly dramatic etc etc etc and always making myself the center of attention that's what creates a deep narcissist that's their only way of getting the love that they need so children we all need that degree of self-esteem that anchor in our life so narcissism self-love is not bad thing but what happens is as you get older if you go too deep into it it becomes a problem and so what I say is you need to take that selflove and it's that has a good function and turn it outward slow as much you can and turn into empathy and love and consideration for other people more that's your task as you get older in life that's how I approach all of these flaws you can't run away from them you can't run away from your shadow Dark Side you can make it work for you you can make it positive and productive and healthy you can become a healthy narcissist which is a a name that I use in the book you can use your dark side for positive purposes let's say you have a lot of anger in your inside and I had a lot of anger when I was younger I was a very angry young man right channel that into some kind of cause like and you know I have a lot of causes that I believe in very deeply and when I was younger I was like that channel that energy into something productive and helpful and put it into something that it goes to something that helps Society that's using your dark side for positive purposes because the Dark Side Of Human Nature has a lot of creativity has a lot of energy an artist has to have a dark side you use your dark side because all those dark emotions all the people that shat on you in your life they inspire you they create your best work don't run away from your Shadow don't run away from your narcissism use it in a in a healthy way