How to Speak Like A Pro English Speaker? | 🎧Podcast and Chill | Beginner – YouTube Dictation Transcript & Vocabulary

1.[Music] hey hey welcome back to Podcast and Chill i'm Gwen and Leo leo did you know that 93% of the impressions we make don't come from what we say but how we say it wait seriously i thought what you said was the most important part well apparently the way we say it is just as huge as what we're actually saying like what like our tone of voice how we're standing and even our facial expressions are a bigger deal than just the words themselves that's wild i'm stoked to hear how we can nail all that stuff and talk like we know what we're doing all right let's dive in yeah guys let's see how we can become a pro yapper gwen you know what freaks me out the most when I'm talking to someone what those awkward silences like when the conversation just dies and I'm sitting there thinking "Uh now what?" Oh yeah totally everyone dreads those moments i seriously hate them but you know what silence actually plays a bigger role in communication than people realize really i always thought silence just meant things got weird it can be awkward sure but it's not always a bad thing so when is it not bad sometimes silence gives people space to think or it builds suspense like when does that happen though think about a speaker who pauses for effect that moment of silence actually pulls people in oh I see what you mean that does make sense exactly or like in movies when the villain says something creepy and then there's just silence it totally gives you chills now you're getting it but still I'm not giving a TED talk or starring in a thriller i'm just a guy trying not to embarrass himself at a party fair enough so let's talk about how to avoid those awkward moments first what do you think causes them um running out of stuff to say bingo usually awkward silence hits when one or both people don't know how to keep the conversation going so how do we fix that that's where conversation flow comes in conversation flow yeah it's basically how smoothly a chat moves from one topic to another like a river it keeps flowing instead of drying up got it so how do I keep it flowing one easy way use the f method wait like the car no silly it stands for family occupation recreation and dreams and how do those help me talk to someone if you hit a wall ask about their family job hobbies or future goals so let's say I'm at a party and the convo is dying i can just be like "How's your family doing?" Totally or "What do you do for work?" or "Got any fun plans coming up?" Okay but what if they hit me with a boring answer like it's fine that's when you pull the thread what does that mean it's when you take something they said and ask for a deeper followup can you give me an example sure if they say works fine you could ask "Anything interesting happened this week?" Uh so I dig a little deeper that's right don't let the convo die that easily help them open up instead man I feel like a secret agent now just a really friendly secret agent okay but what if it's still awkward then switch topics without making it super obvious yep use a segue a what now a segue it's just a smooth transition for instance if you guys are talking about work and both run out of ideas you can say something like "Speaking of work I'm counting down to the weekend." Oh then we talk about weekend plans i like that see it's connected but fresh makes total sense and don't forget open-ended questions are gold yeah those yes no one's just shut everything down totally okay so what if they do respond i'm not always sure how to reply that's when you validate show you're listening how say stuff like "That sounds cool." Or "I've always wanted to try that." So just let them know I care yeah that's right got any other tips yep the next one is mirroring what's that basically repeat or reflect what they said it shows you're tuned in so if they say "I'm into photography." I could say "Oh nice what kind of photos do you like taking?" That's perfect it's like a game of catch just tossing the ball back and forth right it keeps the energy going any other tricks for keeping it natural and smooth try piggybacking on a story that sounds fun what's that it's when someone tells a story and you respond with your own story that's kind of related so like if they say their flight was delayed I tell my nightmare airport story yep shared experiences bring people closer but what if I have nothing to add then go with verbal validation and acknowledgement what does that mean just say things like that makes sense or I can totally see that let them know you're hearing them okay got it but let's say the convo still fizzles out what then that's when you use bookmarking you've got a whole toolkit huh i came prepared so what's bookmarking if you already talked about something earlier circle back to it like hey we were talking about your trip earlier how was it oh nice so it's like picking up an old thread but let's say I try all of these methods but nothing helps what should I do then sometimes you just have to accept that the conversation has run its course it's okay to stop if the vibe isn't there so it's all about knowing when to push forward and when to pull back correct hey Gwen what about non-verbal communication is that actually a thing or just a myth oh it's definitely a thing how do you know back in the 1960s Dr albert Morabian did a study on it and what did he find he found that only a tiny bit like 7% of what people understood came from the actual words being said so where does the rest come from a much bigger chunk around 38% came from how they said it you know their tone of voice and stuff and the biggest part like over half at 55% was all about their body language and facial expressions what they were doing with their bodies and faces so basically when it came to feelings it wasn't so much what you said but how you said it and what you looked like while saying it that really mattered that's right okay so what kinds of non-verbal signals are out there tons people pick up a lot from how we say things our facial expressions tone gestures body posture and even how close we stand makes sense you could be saying "I'm fine." But your face is screaming "I'm not right." That's why being aware of those signals matters take facial expressions for example a smile usually means happiness yeah that's pretty universal but then there are micro expressions those tiny split-second facial movements that kind of leak out your real emotions before you can hide them oh like in those spy movies where they catch someone lying just from a twitch or eyebrow raise yep exactly they're super fast but if you learn to notice them they can tell you a lot that sounds tough though how do you even catch something that fast it takes practice but once you know what to look for like a flash of fear or surprise it becomes easier to pick up all right I'll start training my detective face reading skills what about body language like I've heard crossing your arms means you're closed off that's one sign if someone's leaning back or pulling away it could mean they're uncomfortable or not that interested what if they're leaning in that usually shows they're engaged or confident open posture and good eye contact all signs someone's paying attention so if I'm slouched back with my arms crossed in a meeting I might be sending the wrong vibe you know even if you don't mean it that way that's how it can come across but once you're aware you can adjust gotcha so what else falls under non-verbal communication gestures are a big one simple things like nodding while someone's talking show you're listening how about hand gestures using your hands to emphasize your point can be great but if you're waving them around too much it can be distracting so like everything else it's about balance yep a little movement keeps things lively but too much and people stop listening to your words all right so I should probably dial it back a bit what about vocal cues like tone and pace super important your tone can say a lot whether you're being serious sarcastic excited or annoyed and pace does that matter totally talking too fast can make you sound nervous while talking too slow can come off as bored or tired i probably talk too fast when I'm nervous a lot of people do just slowing down a little can make you sound more confident and clear so what happens if someone's giving mixed signals like they're smiling but also crossing their arms that's where context comes in one signal isn't the whole story you have to look at the full picture so I shouldn't just jump to conclusions based on one thing yeah maybe they're cold maybe crossed arms are just a habit you have to consider everything their tone expression the situation so if I want to get good at this I've got to start noticing all the little things huh yep observation is key pay attention to how people talk how they sit and how they move and most importantly do their words match their behavior what do you mean i mean you got to look out if their words don't match their body language is that a red flag like if someone says "I'm fine," but their whole body's stiff and tense then they're probably not fine that mismatch is a red flag makes sense so I should gently check in with them if I notice that totally and keep in mind these cues can vary across cultures really yeah for instance in some cultures direct eye contact is respectful in others it might be considered rude that's good to know especially when working with people from different places you don't want to misread something just because of a cultural difference exactly being aware of your own body language and learning how others might interpret it that's key to avoiding confusion wow there's a lot more to this than I thought but it's cool makes me want to pay more attention it's such a big part of how we connect once you get the hang of reading these cues you'll understand people better and build stronger relationships awesome i'm definitely going to start watching out for this stuff more just hope I don't look like a weirdo while doing it just try not to stare too hard you don't want to creep anyone out okay Gwen before we wave goodbye let's break down some of the cool phrases from today's episode yes these five will help you sound and feel more confident in any conversation first one awkward silence that's when nobody's talking and it feels super uncomfortable example after I told my joke and nobody laughed awkward silence next is segue it means a smooth way to move from one topic to another example he made a funny segue from talking about work to asking about weekend plans word number three mirroring it's when you repeat or reflect what someone says to show you're listening example when she said she loved painting I mirrored with "Oh cool what kind of art do you like?" Can't skip body language it's how we use our face hands and posture to communicate without words example his body language said he was nervous even though he said he was fine and finally facial expression that's the look on your face that shows how you feel example her facial expression told me she was excited even before she spoke now let's wrap it up with a couple of quick questions for you guys but don't worry we'll go first question one what part of conversation do you struggle with most starting it keeping it going or ending it for me it used to be ending the conversation smoothly i always felt awkward saying goodbye starting for sure I'd panic and ask about the weather like it was breaking news question two what's one thing you're going to practice more tone facial expressions or using the FOD method i'm going all in on the FOD method it's my new cheat code for parties i'll focus on tone the same words can feel so different depending on how you say them your turn comment below and tell us what part of conversation do you want to improve most and which of these tricks are you going to try first let's talk about how to talk better well Gwen this has been so eyeopening i didn't realize just how easy it is to keep a conversation flow right just follow the f model and avoid jumping topics too fast you'll never run out of things to say i also like techniques like thread pulling mirroring and storytelling they help keep conversations flowing naturally even when things get quiet even if it does go quiet you can always pull out the bookmarking trick or just end the chat gracefully you're right silence isn't always bad sometimes it just means someone is thinking and then there's the whole world of nonverbal cues like faces voices or gestures right it's fascinating how powerful non-verbal communication is once you start noticing it it's like a whole new world opens up i'm definitely going to pay more attention to how people express themselves next time both their words and their body language yeah it's all about understanding the full picture and being mindful of how we communicate can make a huge difference in building better connections i love it thanks for all the tips today Gwen my pleasure Leo and thanks to everyone for tuning in we hope you learned something new today don't forget to practice what we've talked about it'll make a huge difference in your daily conversations until next time everyone take care and keep communicating wisely see you next time [Music]