Don’t lose yourself trying to keep them – YouTube Dictation Transcript & Vocabulary

1.hello my beautiful subscribers I'm so excited to be filming when I tell you guys I'm committed I love you guys I mean it like let's just talk about the elephant in the room which is my appearance today I obviously look crazy I look like Mama Odie from The Princess and the Frog I just I'm not giving okay like I usually film with a full face of makeup on my hair looks amazing right now I've got some hair oil in I've been staying in Sydney at my mom's house like this is so embarrassing but you know what I don't care okay I'm committed and I'm going to be uploading every single week and I have very very exciting news that I'm going to be telling you guys if you're hearing about this for the first time this is because this is the first time that I'm announcing this I am finally starting a podcast next year I have been putting like so much thought into this I've been thinking about this for over a year I see all your comments I know everybody wants me to start a podcast I know and I will it's just like everybody body has a podcast and I want to do it right I want it to be like a whole show so I've been waiting to rent a bigger place so I can create an entire filming room with like this really nice setup I want to have microphones and couches and just like I want it to be amazing so I am finally starting a podcast it's going to be up on Spotify it's going to be up on my YouTube and there'll be long podcast episodes sometimes with a co-host and sometimes by myself like the solo episodes but yeah I'm I'm just very excited next year is going to be such a good year and I have so much amazing content plann for this channel so stick with me I'm obsessed with this this is MCO Beauty's um watermelon lip balm and this isn't sponsored they have sponsored me in the past but I actually just bought this wasy I made my boyfriend buy for me before we get into today's video I want to say a massive thank you to Emma sleep for sponsoring today's video so as I've mentioned I'm staying at my mom's house in Sydney anyway I wanted a mattress that would be super easy that would just AR Drive in a box and all I have to do is literally unbox it by myself I'm going to insert a video here of me doing everything I got a mattress that was delivered so quickly I'm pretty sure it was next day delivery which is wild it was so easy for me to unbox by myself okay I'm going to insert a video of me doing that and also I got two pillows and they are I am not kidding the best pillows ever like they are so so comfortable I'm obsessed with these pillows they've got so many different things on their website they also have a sofa bed on the website they've got different pillows different types of mattresses it's just it's giving comfy it's giving we're sleeping well we're waking up we're getting [ __ ] done in 2024 which is the vibe okay I have a busy year ahead I'm not trying to lose sleep over anything love the idea of a mattress showing up in a box if you guys are interested I'm going to leave everything in the description below where is my cha time that's the real question here oh he's on the way he's 2 minutes away all right today's pep talk is is don't be afraid of losing people be afraid of losing yourself did you hear me cuz let me say it again don't be afraid of losing people be afraid of losing yourself let me tell you something okay the more you try and control something the more it ends up controlling you who do I think I am to give you this advice it's because I'm a complete control freak like completely I want to be in control of everything and it is my absolute downfall right it's a good thing but it is also a bad thing and I think it's more a Bad Thing than it is good because if you try and control something then it ends up controlling you if you try and control how another person is treating you that's going to end up controlling you you're it's a waste of time think of you in front of this puzzle and you've got this last piece and it's not fitting you're just going to have to make peace with the fact that you have gone through that whole puzzle and you've done all of that hard work just for it to not work out it's not the right piece it cannot work it cannot and that's the same thing with like people and friends and everything in your life right maybe you work so hard on something and then you get to the very end and it doesn't work out that doesn't mean everything is bad and life is horrible and you're never going to feel happy again it's just something that was right for you in that phase and then at the very end it wasn't meant to be it didn't work out I feel like all of us can relate to potentially in the past exaggerating your place in somebody's life which in turn ends up breaking your own heart you know I'm not even talking about just relationships I'm just saying like you need to stop being afraid of losing people and be more afraid of losing yourself I just couldn't imagine myself changing myself around other people I think I would just end up so depressed and losing my mind because I'd be suppressing the person that I am on the inside who is Luma what does she like to do what are her Hobbies how does she feel about the world how does she feel about things I feel like I can get along with a lot of people okay in my last YouTube video it this is so amazing it really gave me goosebumps I was reading all the comments and you guys are from so many different countries oh my God I was shocked I love it like I just was thinking to myself oh my God I could get along with so many people in so many different countries like I could be friends with so many of you that live in so many different places that come from so many different cultures I'm just not a judgmental person like I love all cultures I want to be friends with everybody um in the same way that I can be friends with everybody I feel like it's easy for me to romanticize people and to meet someone and be like oh you're such a lovely person like you could be a great partner at least in the past I was like this and I know some of you guys would be like this too and the fact is you have to just take your emotions out of things sometimes and look at things on paper almost like if you describe this person on paper are they the perfect match for you to make you happy like that perfect match or are you just going to break your own heart by convincing yourself that this person needs to fit your life and you need to find a way to make it work because you know what happens in the end You Lose Yourself trying to keep this person fun fact about me I love my fluids okay I'm such a big fluids person and my drink I don't know if you guys have cha time overseas I don't know do people like there's there's bubble tea everywhere but my drink is a large Peach black tea with 30% sugar and rainbow jelly and Ice always ice amazing I love the rainbow jelly I love chewing the jelly I feel like people do this all the time where maybe they meet someone and the story is a little bit crazy they're like oh we met at the most perfect timing you know blah blah blah and then when it doesn't work out they are paralyzing themselves because they're thinking oh my God I met this person in such a crazy way it needs to work out otherwise who am I going to meet that's a limiting belief we've spoken about this in the past limiting beliefs here's an example of a limiting belief this person doesn't want to be my friend anymore I will never find a friend like them ever again I'm useless and it just means that no one wants to be friends with me you know why I'm smiling because it's funny it's funny if that person doesn't want to be your friend you should be so excited for the new friends that are going to come into your life you know what I mean you never lack you just transition that is something that I always say that I love I never lack I just transition if you leave me I have learned now how to pick myself up and find even better you are going to be a [ __ ] flashback what is Jana Aiko say in that song bounced on his ass turn that boy into a flashback the [ __ ] you think I'm going to sit there crying over you constantly no not in this lifetime I don't believe in paralyzing myself over this concept and idea that this one person is the only person that could ever bring color into my life wild Behavior I refuse because it's just it's not acceptable to think like that so if you're thinking like that and you're worried and you feel that sense of urgency to keep someone and you're really worried about losing them then you need to stop because there is something wrong and something we need to work on here you have some type of unacknowledged insecurity within yourself and we need to fix that there's a scale right and both people whether you're friends or dating whatever it is both people need to respect each other respect is so big you guys have you ever been friends with somebody that you just don't really respect that much and it's like not even because they're a bad person maybe they make bad decisions for themselves maybe they make you cringe a little bit and you're just kind of like why do you do that [ __ ] you know what I mean like why do you keep running back to that guy when he clearly tweets you bad then you sort of like lose respect for them and maybe that makes you feel guilty but it's inevitable then the scale is tipped and you start feeling a type of way around them you start being more Snappy more rude more resentful and it's the same with Partners like relationships if you're dating someone and they're just a mad bum and all they do is sit around buming it they never buy you flowers they never do anything for you they're literally just there you're not going to respect them you're going to treat them like [ __ ] and you guys will have problems because this scale is tipped and one of you doesn't respect the other and you're just breaking your own heart trying to convince yourself that this person deserves a place in your life wild wild Behavior you're just hurting yourself do you understand what I'm saying like you can't you cannot force things that is something that I have learned so when people ask me do you think that you and your partner are going to get married [ __ ] I don't know I [ __ ] hope so I don't want to be out there on the streets but like I cannot help how I might feel in 5 years time or how he might feel maybe one day I wake up I hope this never happens but like things have changed maybe he's not and I I don't think this will happen because he's very very much the opposite of this but maybe he just becomes lazy and he quits his job and he's sitting around and he doesn't want to do anything if you're sitting around buming it I'm going to lose attraction to you and we cannot be together because I will not respect you the same way that I respected you once before why would you break your own heart trying to make space for this person to fit into your life when there are so many other people out there that you will respect love love and learn from and grow with rather than this person that course has ended in your life you understand and no it's not easy it's not easy it's easier said than done I'm not just sitting here being like live laugh love so we have the way we feel emotionally and then how we feel rationally that's why I always try and step back and I always say write the situation down on paper take your emotions out of it I'm going to open up to you about something I feel like I have an anxious attachment Style I feel like I have relationship anxiety if you don't know what that is Merry Christmas to you so glad you don't experience it I have this constant fear that Who I Am with is going to get up and look at me in the eyes and be like I don't like you anymore and just leave I know some of you feel that too okay so when I get these questions from you guys being like how do you deal with relationship anxiety well when you figure it out you let me know what I have learned through trying to deal with my relationship anxiety and going to therapy about it reading a lot about it is I am a controlling person I want to feel like I'm in control but in relationships you cannot be in control and the more you focus on the fact that you cannot be in control and the things that might distract you from that so that you can kind of let go of the control and live more in the moment the more you will enjoy your relationship I just choose to make myself busy if he's going out I know I'm going to feel anxious about it I always do I'm sorry that's just how I am maybe you're sitting there thinking you you feel anxious when you're boyfriend goes out and stuff yes I do yes I sit here and give you guys advice and I built this whole community of people and I give you pep talks I am a human being I have flaws the reason I've made this channel is because I struggle with things and so anyway but I have learned to deal with how I feel and I'm rational and I always write things down on paper and it's like and it's like okay he's going out he's a good boyfriend if he wanted to cheat he would it doesn't matter where he is it doesn't matter what career he's in if he wanted to he would so if he is going to do something bad he's going to do it and me sitting here pacing like this back and forth checking his location worrying about what he's doing is not is not going to do anything for me or the situation it doesn't make it any better or worse it's just a waste of my time what can you do in that time to make yourself feel better what I usually do is I make plans too if I know he's going to go out I'm going be like okay I'll go out too it's a perfect opportunity for me to go out with my friends as well it's not like on some oh you're going out I have to go out no it's like we spend a lot of time together so if you're going to make plans with your friends I'm G to make plans with my friends sometimes I don't sometimes I sit at home and I edit and stuff like that you know I do emails whatever but I'll just make plans with my friends and then I'm not thinking about it and then we're both having a nice time away from each other then we miss each other and when we come back together we're like so happy to see each other it's a win-win situation I used to be very intimidated by confident people because confident people are attractive and then when I became one I don't feel intimidated when I meet somebody that can take a risk when I meet somebody that is in their dream career and is happy with their life and has good relationships they are somebody that is attractive to me like I want to be your friend cuz everyone else is just so victim of Life average I don't want that I don't want that average energy around me you ever hung out with people and they're so boring and it's just like you feel bad about yourself cuz you're like why I'm not fitting in with this group no you are too big and too colorful for them so get the [ __ ] out of that situation okay but anyway what I was going to say is I find it inspiring when somebody is independent and so you should work on being like that too because if you're dependent right if you're dating someone but you still make time for your friends you still go on girls trips you save your money and you go overseas and see the things that you wanted to see before you even started dating this person they are less likely to get up and just leave you one day because you are somebody that inspires them you're going to get sick of something if you have it 24/7 in front of you if you gave me this drink every single day I mean I do have this drink almost damn near every day but really though if you put that drink in front of me every every single day I will get sick of it it's the way the world works it's the way we work if you're with your partner every single day and they are nagging you they're like scared to lose you they control you you're going to get the ick you're not going to want to be with them sooner or later you guys are going to break up so if you want to save your friendships your relationship if you want to be attractive be independent you need to sit down and write down your goals on paper I do this all the time I manifest everything that I want all the [ __ ] time okay this is what I want for 2024 I want to go to America I actually do want to go on a big trip to the states I want to see New York I want to do this I want to start a podcast I want to do that this is separate to my partner yes I'm in a relationship and we have a great relationship but I have my own goals I was my own person before we started dating I don't have to do everything with him maybe I want to go on a girls trip he doesn't have to come with me everywhere like hello I want to do my own things I don't want to resent him and spend 247 with him and then one day one of us wakes up and is like [ __ ] I've lost myself like all I do is hang out with you and we don't do our own thing that's not healthy that's how you're going to just lose that person stop I am more afraid of not doing things because of a relationship and I think that's healthy because in turn it makes my partner more attracted to me because I chase my dreams and I'm my own person if you pull something you're just pushing them away but if you push back and you're working on yourself they'll always be there you will be their Roman Empire do you get what I'm saying I don't mean this in a vain way and if you take this as me being up myself go ahead doll go off but I'm telling you I don't mean this in a vain way but I know for a fact that everyone I've ever dated thinks about me to this day I know it okay I know it I know for a fact that they lurk on my YouTube and my Instagram and they watch my [ __ ] and they care I'm not saying they want to date me maybe they're in other relationships they'll never get over me because I am independent always have been and always will be I'm not that ex that you stalk and you're like ooh her boyfriend's kind of she downgraded no it's only up from here I never lack I transition like I said before I don't lack that's how it is take it or leave it do you want to be the 10% of people in this world that just keep being resilient and moving forward or the other 90% that is just so victim of Life here's my sub story am I going to sit around here holding it on my shoulder like I'm Santa with a big sack being like this is my sad story no I just keep transitioning I keep going up and I know for a fact that I am these clowns Roman Empire for life for life because I am independent and they know they'll never find another one like me I'm not saying I'm the prettiest I'm saying I'm independent and that is something that is attractive and that is something that is Unforgettable because that means that these people that try and play you when you bounce on them they know they'll always sit there feeling like oh she really did that she just moved on she did all the things she said she was going to do if I tell you you that I'm going to go to New York this year [ __ ] I'm going and that's something that the people in my life know and I think that's why they want to stay friends with me she is a doer when she says something she does it there's no cap here when I say it I'm on the way to doing it that is today's pep talk don't be afraid of losing that person be afraid of losing yourself in the process of keeping them but I hope you guys liked today's pep talk I feel like this was a pretty good pep talk usually that's the case when I don't have any notes and I'm just kind of speaking about things um but yeah I hope you guys like today's video I am so excited to read your comments about what you guys think about me starting a podcast if you have any requests or anything I already have a name I'm going to get some nice lighting and cameras and I have a co-host for some of my podcast episodes she is amazing she is so funny she has such good advice I'm excited I'm so excited for 2024 and I love you guys so very much and I will see you guys in my next video next week