the curse of perfectionism, advice session – YouTube Dictation Transcript & Vocabulary

1.hey there and welcome back to advice session a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and I give you my unprofessional advice and today's topics are failure work ethic and perfectionism and perfectionism in particular is a topic that I hold near and dear to my heart because I myself am a perfectionist and no I'm not humble bragging okay i'm not over here like I don't know I just have an incredible work ethic i know it might sound like a blessing but I promise you it's a curse it's exhausting being this perfect no I'm not saying that in fact I'm saying the opposite i actually think my perfectionism gets in the way of me achieving if perfection did exist it doesn't but if it did exist my perfectionism would be preventing me from reaching that my perfectionism holds me back when I call myself a perfectionist it's derogatory you get the idea this is not a flex that's sort of a misconception about perfectionism is that it ultimately is a blessing in disguise and maybe it is maybe it is like maybe if I were to observe myself my current self who I am right now and myself in an alternate universe where I'm not a perfectionist perhaps me the perfectionist would achieve more than the version of me in an alternate universe who isn't a perfectionist perhaps perhaps but we'll never know that for sure and as far as I can tell it gets in my way maybe for some people it's a blessing in disguise but definitely not for everyone and it is not a fun thing to deal with and I've been dealing with it for many years and it's gotten better I'd say but I definitely don't have it all figured out like I haven't cured my perfectionism by any means it's still something that I struggle with actively so when I give you advice about it take it with a grain of salt because I don't have it all figured out if you want really good advice go find somebody who has it all figured out and then also send me that person's number because I need their help as well um anyway without further ado let's begin i briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Western Hotels and Resorts western Hotels is designed with your well-being in mind with more than 200 destinations around the world Weston Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling with signature amenities and offerings that help you move well eat well and sleep well and with their iconic next generation heavenly bed you can look forward to the rest the worst part about traveling is how it impacts your sleep whether you're dealing with jet lag or not having slept on a flight it can ruin a trip find wellness at Weston one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio now back to the episode somebody said "As a perfectionist I never feel like I'm doing enough i see other successful people and I constantly feel like I'm not enough how do I fix this?" Well these are two separate issues okay number one never feeling like you're doing enough never feeling satisfied with your accomplishments with your productivity etc and comparing your success to others so let's address not feeling like you're doing enough to start let me just say I could not relate to this more i could literally be on my grind for like six months straight get so much done be so successful everybody around me is jealous i'm slaying and I literally still feel like [ __ ] and feel like I got nothing done so I completely understand this i think the hard truth for perfectionists is that perfectionists may never be able to fully experience fulfillment and joy from getting work done from being productive i don't that might not be true but in my experience thus far like I haven't cracked that code i still really struggle to feel like I'm doing enough and just by simply being productive like I almost never feel like I'm doing enough naturally like it doesn't matter how much I get done i just never feel satisfied i never feel fulfilled i never feel proud and I think for many perfectionists that's the case and so something that I've tried to do is to release any expectations about how productivity will make me feel i think the reason why it's so painful to work really hard and then never feel like you're doing enough is because you had an expectation that working really hard would cure your perfectionism would finally make you feel like you're working hard enough you're doing enough the truth is when you're a perfectionist there is no level of achievement of productivity that will create that feeling that's the problem that's why you're a perfectionist so something that I've tried to do is release expectations of experiencing any feeling from getting work done because at least I'm not ending up disappointed because I'm not feeling the feelings I wanted to be feeling you know I might not feel satisfied and that sucks but at least I'm not feeling dissatisfied and disappointed do you know what I'm saying does releasing expectations solve the problem does it allow you to find satisfaction and fulfillment from your productivity no not necessarily but in the meantime while you're figuring out how to cope with your perfectionism it can be helpful and so that's something I try to do is work towards achieving things for the sake of my overall well-being in my life right instead of searching for a feeling of satisfaction and a feeling like I'm doing enough I try to work on things that are ultimately leading to a better quality of life does that make sense i don't know i don't know if this is even good advice okay this is just some of the things that I've tried okay so that's one sort of tip okay but another thing that I personally try to do is and it's kind of cringe and it's like I don't know it's like I don't know maybe empty advice i think it's important for perfectionists to in a moment when you're being hard on yourself when you really really feel like you're not doing enough the best thing that you can do is take a moment close your eyes or not open your eyes i don't know just [ __ ] sit there for a minute and think about all that you've accomplished in the last week in the last month in the last year in your whole life take a moment to remember what you have accomplished and whether it's large or small you've at least accomplished something and I can almost guarantee especially if you're a perfectionist that a lot of those things were challenging i can almost guarantee you have a lot to be proud of and it sounds ridiculous it's like Emma like who's going to [ __ ] when you're in the midst of of a meltdown because you feel like you're not doing enough the last thing you want to do is think about what you have done it's like who cares about that but it can really help you could even write it down like write down 10 things that you've done in the last year that you're proud of it's just it's important for perfectionists to like shift the attention to what has been done to what has been accomplished because I think a lot of times perfectionists complete a task accomplish something and immediately move to the next thing and take no time to relish in the excitement and the satisfaction of accomplishing instead just move on to the next because perfectionists are always thinking about what's next so that's another thing like potentially every time you accomplish something force yourself to take 10 minutes maybe even 24 hours to relish in that satisfaction treat yourself take yourself out to get your nails done buy yourself your favorite lunch treat yourself force yourself to celebrate every accomplishment that's all the advice I got on that okay so now the second part of this comparing yourself to other successful people i think we tend to compare our successes to other people's successes when our self-esteem is being based on our success when your self-esteem is based on the wrong things for example your success your appearance your romantic relationship your friend group whatever when your self-esteem is rooted in the wrong things all hell breaks loose okay because number one your self-esteem is not it's not going to be consistent it's not going to be solid because it's based on something that is inconsistent that is surface level that is it's actually not a healthy source of of confidence and self-esteem okay number two what wherever your self-esteem lies your appearance your success your relationship your friend group you'll start obsessing over these things it'll become your main focus which usually ends up causing way more harm than good for example if your self-esteem is held in your physical appearance you know you're more likely to develop a plastic surgery addiction or you're more likely to facetune your your Instagram photos to oblivion you know to a point where you don't even look the way you look like in real life anymore and that's mortifying like that's not something that's not an admirable thing to do you know the list goes on or if your self-esteem is rooted in your romantic relationship you're going to be obsessive about your partner because they are your confidence you know so like if they don't text you back you're like "Oh my god they're cheating on me oh my god." You freak out do you see what I'm saying it causes more harm than good you will obsess over whatever your self-esteem is based on okay and what comes with sort of obsession comparison as well so if you are basing your self-esteem on your success to take it back to the dilemma that we're we're facing here if your self-esteem is based on your success other people's success is going to drive you nuts and you are going to compare yourself to oblivion okay because you're obsessed with your success that's what your entire being is relying on at this time you know your it's like your backbone your foundation is that but what's ironic is when your self-esteem is based on the right things okay it's based on your character it's based on how generous and kind you are it's based on how you make the world a better place in in small or big ways it's based on your morals and values it's based on being a good a good sibling a good child a good wife a good husband whatever the [ __ ] okay when it's based on your character who you truly are material things aside you don't compare yourself to other people you don't care that other people are hotter than you you don't care that other people are more successful than you you don't care because your self-esteem is in the right place so you don't need to compare because you're not trying to measure your physical appearance your success etc you you're comfortable with what you add to the world you know what I'm saying the point of all this is the reason why you might be comparing your success to others is because that's where your self-esteem lies and that's not good that doesn't feel good okay the best way to stop doing that is to build your self-esteem in a healthy way and it sounds simple but it's about having discipline you know taking good care of yourself taking good care of people around you being a good person the list goes on i mean it's about having self-esteem rooted in non-material things genuinely who you are as a person and then all of a sudden you won't care that other people are more successful than you no one's there's no such thing like there is no most successful person in the world like that doesn't exist so let go of that okay all right let's move on somebody said "I'm extremely afraid of the future and of not living up to my potential i'm scared of failure how do I combat this?" I think it's incredibly helpful to differentiate what you can and can't control about your future because then you can let the elements you can control empower you and even inspire you right it clarifies like all right what am I working towards uh and and what can I do to get there and what type of plan do I need to orchestrate to get there and what's the next step you know being aware of what you can control empowers you and inspires you and gives you sort of a path so that's awesome but also being aware of what you can't control allows you to set that free and take that energy that you were dedicating towards stuff that you can't control and now put it towards the stuff that you can control once you have a clear understanding of what you can and can't control you can begin the journey of developing a healthy relationship with your future and with your goals but until then you're going to be putting your energy in all the wrong places focusing on what you can't control too much neglecting the stuff that you can control you know you're going to move through life aimlessly it's a mess until you really get a grasp on what you can and can't control there will be chaos okay and there's still chaos even when you do grasp what you can and can't control because the nature of life is that some of it is out of our control and that is chaotic right there will always be a bit of chaos but there's a healthy amount of chaos once you truly are aware of what you can and can't control and again then it's inspiring you're like "All right [ __ ] all the stuff I can't control i know now what I can control." And that gives me a clearer path and a clearer set of goals and I know what I'm working towards now and I know the steps I need to take to get there because I know what's in my control so that really helps but I also think it's helpful to shift your goals to be less specific like instead of your goal being to live in a 10-bedroom house in Dallas Texas on this exact street with this exact street number and and you're married to this exact person and you have this exact job shift your goal to being I want to live in a beautiful home in a beautiful city that I love with a person that I love with an incredible family like shift your goals to being a bit more buildable a bit more open you know a lot of times we can become obsessed with these specific goals and the problem with that is that it doesn't leave room for change of plans and inevitably there will be changes of plans the job that you thought you were going to get the person you thought you were going to marry the town you thought you were going to live in it actually might not be right for you and it might not work out and that doesn't mean that you've failed and that you haven't accomplished your goals and that your life is a failure it just means that there was a change of plans it feels like a failure when you have specific goals that are so specific that it's like if I don't check every single exact box I'm a failure set your goals up for success set your goals up in such a way that there can be changes of plans and that's okay because you'll still accomplish your goals anyway it's not like lowering the bar it's just letting the goals be a bit more open-ended for the sake of the future being unwritten and you not knowing exactly what's going to be right for you and it just gives you the freedom to truly evolve and change as a person but also as an achiever and and it sort of takes the pressure off you know like there's a lot of pressure put on you when you have very specific goals when you loosen the goals up a bit you'll notice that the pressure lessens as well and for most of us pressure is not a good thing we achieve less when we're under pressure majority of human beings work best when they feel free in a way and my last piece of advice is to reframe failure because you said you know I'm extremely afraid of the future and of not living up to my potential i'm scared of failure how do I combat this to address failure specifically I think reframing failure is so important listen I'm not going to be unrealistic okay failure still sucks sometimes it sucks it's not always fun and I'm not saying it is however failure is not bad the most successful people in the world fail constantly we forget this but in order to be successful you have to fail 100 200 300 5,000 times before you'll succeed no one succeeds the first time the only person that never fails is the person that never tried anything do you know what I'm saying listen all of this is cliche all of this is cringe but it's absolutely true failure should motivate you to try again or to pivot your plans not to give up and hide in a corner forever you know what i have a beautiful metaphor for all of you okay failure is not a dead end street it's an intersection if you see failure as a dead end street then you're afraid of failure because you're like "Well if I go down that that road and it's a dead end street then like I'm [ __ ] you know like I'm I'm stuck and I don't know how to get out and like whatever and I'm lost and all of this and and there's no getting out it's it's whatever it's a dead end i can't go any further that's the end of the road." That's not what it is it's an intersection okay you're now faced with a choice i can go left i can go straight i can go right i can [ __ ] flip an illegal U-turn like it is not the end of the road it's just a point in the road where now I have to make sometimes an uncomfortable choice am I going to stay going straight on this exact path am I going to turn right am I going to turn left do you see what I'm saying how beautiful is that how [ __ ] beautiful is that okay that is what failure is and once you reframe it and you're like "All right it's actually not a bad thing it's literally an inevitable step towards success towards achievement it is quite literally unavoidable once you see it like that it's like oh okay I'm less afraid because it's literally something that every single person is experiencing and also if I don't fail then that means I'm not working towards anything does that make sense like there's nothing to reach achievement you have to fail along the way do you get what I mean it's like that's actually a sign that you're working towards your goals you're you're moving forward you're driving on the road if you're stopped on the side of the road you'll never hit an intersection you'll also never hit a dead end cuz you're just pulled off on the side of the road only when you're driving can you reach the intersection where then you're forced to make the decision of what to do next you know what I mean does that metaphor make sense i don't know but anyways someone said "I feel like I'm never the best at anything i'm decent slash good at things but I don't ever stand out at the top it makes me feel average what do I do i am sick and tired of the average person's slander okay there is nothing wrong with being average average just means what most people are do you think most people suck and are idiots and are bad at everything no i can name so many different people who are incredible at things who I admire who are incredible people who are not the best at anything who are maybe not even above average at anything but they're great my entire life I was never the best at anything i got decent grades but I wasn't the best student i was decent at sports but I wasn't the most athletic i've never been the best at anything i've never even been the best like YouTuber you know what I'm saying like what even does that mean like what i've never been the best podcaster what does that even mean like who is that there's no Okay the the whole idea that being average is bad is ridiculous majority of people are average majority of people because that is what average is we shouldn't do things in life to be the best at them we shouldn't do things in life to like win the medal listen sometimes it feels great to win the medal but most of us are not going to win the medal most of us are not going to win first place most of us are not going to be the validictorian most of us are not going to go to the Olympics most of us are not going to be the scientist that cures the rare disease most of us are just [ __ ] average and guess what that is incredible that's great that's totally fine we should do things because we enjoy doing them because they make us feel fulfilled and excited and inspired we shouldn't do things to win the gold medal cuz guess what 99.9 I've said 99.9% like so much today i'm just absolutely obsessed with data today and statistics i just can't get enough of data anyway 99.9% of people are never going to win the gold medal in anything in their lives and guess what it's okay because the gold medal is a [ __ ] piece of metal it doesn't make life any better being above average is actually nothing more than a gold medal it is nothing more than a piece of [ __ ] literally nothing if you were to look a gold medal being the best at something is nothing more than honestly like a piece of like a a piece of junk like a first place trophy what is that does it actually serve any purpose no it means nothing you can't even use it for anything do you get what I'm saying here being above average it's great you know what I mean and it's really cool to see the people in this world that are above average at something right like that's awesome but at the end of the day and I mean like on our deathbed what's really going to matter not the trophy not the gold medal what's going to matter is that we filled our lives with things that we loved to do whether or not we were good at them okay that is what [ __ ] matters being above average [ __ ] that who gives a [ __ ] it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter that's all I have to say do things that you love to do that is my advice to you sorry I got really passionate there um okay somebody said "I feel like I'm failing at everything in life right now my grades suck my friendships are bad and I'm single what do I do?" You know what the good news is when everything sucks when you are at rock bottom the good news is it can only go up from here you're at rock bottom everything sucks how exciting is that that if you literally put even just a little bit of effort in you can make tomorrow better because [ __ ] sucks do you know what I'm saying that's actually kind of inspiring and exciting like when I'm at rock bottom that's what I try to remember because it is inspiring it is it's empowering my suggestion to you is to make a plan okay you can make a plan in any way that feels right for you you could say "Okay I have all these things about my life that suck right now my grades my friendships I'm single you know whatever." You can pick one thing and say "All right I'm going to work on this first." Perhaps the thing that's most important maybe in your life that's friendship or maybe in your life that's grades or maybe in your life that is relationship i wouldn't focus on that though maybe you save that one for later save that one for once you have your grades and your friendships figured out i think dating is is best pursued when you're not at rock bottom my opinion my opinion make a plan on how you're going to improve your grades make a plan on how you're going to make friends make a plan on how you're going to start working on new hobbies make a plan until you make a plan you're just going to sit around aimless you need to sit down and say "Okay I'm going to start with my grades all right i am going to make it a goal that for the next month I'm going to work on homework after school for 3 hours a day 3 hours a day i'm going to go from 1 hour a day or maybe even zero hours a day to three hours a day i'm going to set a timer i'm going to light a candle and I am going to do my homework for 3 hours a day or until I complete it and see how much my grades improve over the next month i am going to sign up for an extracurricular activity i'm going to sign up for the bad mitten team at school i'm going to sign up for the lacrosse team at school i'm going to sign up for something extracurricular and I'm going to slowly but surely make friends with the people on the team and we might not be best friends but we'll see what happens like make a plan figure out how you're going to improve your grades how you're going to make friends how you're going to stop failing until you have a plan until you have something to act upon what the [ __ ] are you supposed to do so you need to get organized and you need to figure out what your next step is because it's very easy to just wallow in like "Oh I'm so far behind i'm failing so bad there's no getting out of this." Not true not true you'll be shocked at how quickly things can turn around the second you have a plan and stop dwelling in the feeling of of failure and instead say "It's all up from here let's figure it out." You'll be shocked at how quickly things turn around okay somebody said "Advice on how to be more gentle with myself in my early 20s i'm so harsh and critical with myself as a first instinct i am the same way to be honest but when I react really harshly to myself I try to remind myself how truly young I am and this is not in like an agist sort of way like I think we should be graceful with ourselves no matter our age but I do think that when you're in your 20s you're really young you were a teenager like a few years ago right and what I do to put my age and lack of life experience into perspective is to remember myself 10 years ago 15 years ago 20 years ago back when I was 4 years old you know 10 years old 12 years old like only just 5 10 15 years ago I was a child and now I look back at myself and I'm like "Oh my god what a little baby." You know like what a little fragile baby what an innocent little soul you know and the truth is in 5 10 15 20 30 years we'll look back at ourselves now with so much patience and I don't know we'll be gentle with ourselves and so why not be gentle now 5 10 15 20 30 years down the line we're going to be gentle with ourselves and that's the same person as we are today why not just be gentle now i don't know if that's good advice but that is something that I think about like when I was hard on myself when I was 15 years old and I was hard on myself if I had thought about myself at 23 almost 24 and how I would feel towards myself I maybe would have been more gentle with myself because now at age 24 I look at my 15-year-old self like a baby and I I feel fond gentle feelings towards my 15-year-old self there's something comforting about knowing like down the line I'm going to look back at who I am today and and be so patient and be so kind why not just do that now i don't know but I also think too that sometimes like age aside we can be unnecessarily harsh and critical with ourselves if other things are going on in our lives again age aside for example if we're hanging out around the wrong people hanging out around people who are not supportive of us don't love us fully don't support us fully that can lead to being unnecessarily harsh and critical with oneself i've noticed that in myself when I've say you know dated or or been friends with people who weren't really on my team it's manifested in me being harsh and critical with myself when my self-esteem is low which we talked about earlier when I'm not basing my self-esteem on the right things when I'm not basing it on my character I'm basing it on my physical appearance or my success or you know when my self-esteem is in the wrong place you know I can be overly harsh and critical of myself i think age can contribute but I also think too that there's probably something else going on in your life like beyond just you being in your 20s like I do think it's a normal thing right like we're hard on ourselves always right but I think once we reach our 20s we're really hard on ourselves because I don't know our frontal lobe is the most developed it's ever been and we're starting to realize like how dumb we can be sometimes and it's abrupt and it's I don't know overwhelming but a lot of times I don't know there's something else lingering beneath the surface as well so maybe pay attention to that too somebody said in order to be the best at something do you have to do it 24/7 well number one I'd let go of the expectation of ever being the best cuz good luck with that i personally have never been the best at anything ever in my life never so [ __ ] that like that's just not going to happen that's a ridiculous expectation it's like in order to be perfect at something do you have to do it no perfect the best these things don't exist so let go of that that's number one but let's rephrase this question in order to be good at something in order to be great at something do you have to do it 24/7 i think no i think no but I also sort of think yes okay let me explain i don't think doing something 24/7 is healthy like I think putting all of your eggs in one basket and saying I'm going to dedicate my entire life to this one thing i I don't think that that's healthy i think you need to have variety in your life right so if you're working towards a goal it's good to have time off on the side it's good to have other smaller goals it's good to have hobbies like it's good to diversify what's going on in your life you don't want to have all of your eggs in one basket otherwise number one it's bad for you psychologically it'll like make you depressed and anxious but number two it puts too much pressure on this one thing which isn't good because if it doesn't work out which it might not because that's the reality of life now you're [ __ ] because you put all of your eggs in that basket not great but also too if you really love something and you really want to be good at it you don't want to burn yourself out and doing it something 24/7 will burn you out so you definitely want to have other stuff going on in your life even if you want to be great at something there's also something about being like overexposed to something that weirdly can hold you back like when I work out every single day 7 days a week I achieve less gains if you will than if I go 5 days a week and have two days of rest in between short-term and long-term shortterm because I'm not exhausting myself so I'm actually able to perform better in my workouts but then long-term because number one I'm preventing burnout because I have balance i'm doing five days a week i have two days off two days to recover two days to do other things with my time you know 5 days a week is still a lot too like let's say I was doing three days a week four days a week same idea you know there's time away there's time to recharge there's time to rebuild so that you can go back even stronger and with a fresh perspective cuz that's the other thing let's say you're working on an art piece if you lock yourself in your house for two months and and work on this art piece and you never go outside and you never talk to anyone and you don't work on anything else okay if this painting doesn't work out you are going to be a mess you are going to be an emotional wreck that is not good okay that's number one number two you're going to get burnt out because you weren't doing anything else and it's going to ruin your spark and you're not going to want to make another painting you're going to want to quit painting after that and you'll quite literally physically suffer i mean you didn't see the sun you didn't move around a lot like you will physically suffer in order to be the best at something you shouldn't work on it 24/7 you need to have balance however you do need to work really [ __ ] hard and again we rephrased it it's not the best in order to be great at something you need to work really [ __ ] hard so yeah you shouldn't work on it 24/7 but you should work on it a lot and unfortunately there is no like exact amount of like how much time you should dedicate to it you know I think a popular number or a popular split tends to be 8020 like 80% of your life should be put towards doing the right thing right building your life right working towards something and then 20% is for [ __ ] off that's kind of a number that comes up a lot like I don't know I see on the internet like the 8020 diet where it's like 80% of your diet is healthy nutritious foods and then 20% is like junk food or whatever 8020 like lifestyle like 80% of the time you're you know you got a routine you live a healthy life you exercise you do this and that and then 20% of the time you do whatever you want you smoke a cigarette you get blackout drunk you lay in bed all say you do whatever it's about balance i think that applies here but if you want to be great at something maybe it's like 8515 or like 9010 I don't know but it's definitely not 100% you know both extremes are not good right like working too hard not good not working hard enough not good next somebody said "How to be productive again when you feel like everything you do will fail." So it's all just useless anyway always feeling like a failure i did talk about failure earlier but let's touch on it again number one failure is not bad it sucks it can be discouraging it can be annoying it can be frustrating especially when it happens over and over again but sometimes that's the path towards success for you like if you keep pushing through you know and you keep working you keep putting one foot in front of the other you will eventually succeed it might not look the way you expected it to look it might not be in the way you expected it to be but you will succeed at some point but only if you keep going so that's one thing to keep in mind but also this idea that everything you do fails is ridiculous that doesn't happen like that doesn't happen for anyone we all succeed sometimes at something so give yourself a little bit of credit shift your attention to where you have succeeded in your life thus far and allow that to motivate you like okay actually I do succeed sometimes here are all the times I did succeed i can do that again even if it's just small little successes that is success so you can't say everything I do is a failure i'm I'm a failure no you've succeeded before and be motivated by the fact that getting back to productivity will help prove this false narrative wrong right now you're remaining stagnant because you're like I don't want to do anything i'm just going to fail again so why the [ __ ] would I do anything i'm a lost cause well guess what that's a false narrative that is not true and the sooner that you get back to it and and start working again start working on whatever you want to work on the sooner that you do that the sooner that you will ultimately succeed at something and the sooner that you'll prove that false narrative wrong and you'll start to build hope again and you'll start to build confidence again but as long as you're sitting around just like I'm a lost cause you're living in a lie you're living in a lie and until you get up and prove yourself wrong you'll be living in that lie and nothing will get done and it'll just be painful and uncomfortable so be motivated by the fact that you need to prove yourself wrong you know what I'm saying remember okay feeling like everything you do will fail so it's all useless anyway feeling like a failure this is not real that is not real none of that is real nobody is a failure that does not exist you can fail but no one is a failure i just don't even think that that exists as long as you keep pushing through you will eventually succeed you will the only You won't succeed if you just stop like what you're doing right now you won't succeed now but if you change your mindset and say "If I keep pushing I will eventually succeed." There is a a 99.9 Here I go again with that [ __ ] percentage there is a 99.9999999% chance that if you get back to work you will eventually succeed at something i would even say there's a 100% chance you will succeed eventually all this [ __ ] going on in your head it's a lie so get out there and prove yourself wrong and prove that mindset wrong that's it that's my advice that's my advice for today i hope you enjoyed and if you did new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday tune in and new episode of advice session every other Sunday so yeah tune in for that watch Anything Goes on YouTube and Spotify listen anywhere you stream podcasts follow on social media anything goes follow me on social media Emma Chamberlain and check out my coffee company chamberlain coffee.com in stores near you store locator on chamberlain coffee.com on social media at Chamberlain Coffee in the Westfield Century City Mall in Los Angeles if you live in Los Angeles that's it that's all I have for today thank you all for listening and hanging out it is always a pleasure and I truly truly love all of you and appreciate all of you and yeah okay I am going to go make a veggie burger yum i can't wait i'm so excited i'm just I'm gonna toast up my little buns i'm gonna cook up my little veggie burger on the stove get it all crispy i'm going to do a little bit of ketchup i'm going to put two types of mustard on there spicy mustard and classic yellow i'm going to put a bunch of pickle slices on there it's going to be tangy it's going to be delicious and then after dinner maybe I'll make one singular chocolate chip cookie in the toaster oven that is what's on my agenda for the rest of the day um not to brag or anything yeah it's whatever um okay that's that's it i'm going to go make my veggie burger eat my little chocolate chip cookie and I will talk to you guys later